An advertorial by Anne Geddes.
Hi there, remember me?
Of course you do. I was out there putting babies in positions they didn’t know were uncomfortable before your average “momfluencer” was even born.
Baby in a flower pot? Yeah, that was me.
Baby in a pumpkin? I did that before the whole pumpkin patch trend was a ‘thing’.
FIVE babies in flower pots? You better believe I went there too.
As a pioneer in the field of art that makes people feel embarrassed when they look at it, I’ve recently decided to branch out into NFTs. Haven’t heard of it? Neither had I, but my agents have assured me they’re very lucrative. I was told that they are a way in which to earn “cryptic currency”, which I don’t fully understand either but was explained to me as being basically a type of money that’s also somehow a ghost.
I don’t need to understand it. I’m Anne Geddes.
Once I was shown what NFTs currently have to offer in the way of art, I knew that this was something I had to participate in. The largest players in the game right now seem to be mainly dealing in disgusting primate cartoons and while, believe you me that may be okey-dokey with some fart smelling PC jockey, what are the god-fearing middle-aged women supposed to invest in? I can hardly see Meredith hanging a caricature of a nose picking ape behind her desk at reception, even if she IS proud to own all digital rights to it. While certainly these monkeys are some of God’s beloved creatures, I doubt HE intended them to uplift and inspire in the same way a baby inside of a cabbage does. After all, they’re called NFTs, not MVPs (Most Valuable Primates).
So I’m here, once again, to save the art world from itself. Me, anNe motherFucking gedTs.
I’m not doing it for the money (though I have been promised a lot of money). I’m doing it for the Judiths, the Merediths, the Uncle Bills that everyone in the family thinks are “a little funny”.
I’m doing it for them.
And I’m doing it for you. And for us, for ‘A little something to believe in’– which, coincidentally, is the title of my first NFT offering.
Let the healing begin. You’re welcome.
Natally yours,
Anne Geddes
(With apologies to Anne Geddes, who I genuinely hope is not actually like this.)
